After binge watching and listening to all media for the first couple of days of Boris’ talks, then having serious discussions with my children about self-isolation. Thinking about explaining to a three year old why he can’t see his Oma and Opa, and the thought of missing my daily hug from my daughter, or foregoing our plans of travelling to see our granddaughter and son; within no time, I became unproductive and emotional the whole day. My usually level head was running scared. This is natural because we are faced with so many unknowns but when I woke up and wrote this down before my first morning cuppa, I knew it was time to control my fear…
Frightening, Enduring, but worst of all, an Atrocity to Reason.
I will acknowledge it.
It can come on this journey with me,
Because it is part of me.
But I won’t be defined by it.
I will be respectful of Fears feelings,
So, I will be careful and sensible.
But if I let Fear consume me,
I will be paralysed.
Paralysis from Fear, does not walk you through tough times.
It erodes joy: degrades confidence, stifles kindness, momentum and creativity.
Being inventive in our thinking is what we need right now.
The virus has wiped the slate clean giving us time to think,
Find confidence in our resourcefulness;
shape who we could be
and the chance to start afresh.
We must embrace change, to fight it, is a waste of our passion.
We must think on our feet, be creative, thoughtful and caring,whatever our position,
Be it isolation; social distancing or freedom,
what happens to our mind set, has always been our choice.
Don’t let it be FEAR’s
The writing in black, is a blog I started in January 2020, thinking about looking back over the last decade as well as what was going to happen going forward. I didn’t realise quite what changes were coming:
Not just another year but a new decade has begun. We can ignore it and just pick up where we left off last year and head into the new year, but if we want change, more excitement or just something else for 2020, we have to acknowledge that doing the same thing will only get us the same results.
With busy lives, financial demands and instant responses demanded by technology, work and life style, it’s easy to just pick up where we left off without allowing time to ask ourselves questions and really think about the answers, no better still, DREAM about the answers.
Lots of us now have the time, what will we do with it?
Reflection, why look back?
Throughout my life I rarely looked back, I was always driven and on a mission that propelled me forward; more adventures for us and the children, that required more success, which warranted more money; then too much work needed the next holiday; a new car; more for the children; more and more!
It was only when I was forced to stop, I took the time to reflect on life as I knew it, I realised there were other alternatives. I just had to find out what was my new Happy, then, be brave enough to cut the ties of “normal” and open the gates to whatever new experiences were waiting to come in.
Isn’t this where some of us are now?…
We beat ourselves up a lot mentally with life’s demands, before long our internal speak is repetitive and negative. This then supports a self-fulfilling prophecy; your brain is in a habit of telling you something negative, because it’s been allowed air time, it searches out reinforcements of a thought or statement like a reward. It is so important we get a handle on what thoughts we allow our brain to reinforce.
When searching for my new Happy, I didn’t know what questions to ask of myself and as soon as I got brave and asked soul-searching questions, my logical brain stepped in like a flash telling me all the reasons why that was a bad idea. It does this to keep you safe with the status quo you know and can handle…
So how can I help anyone else begin the process. There are a number of books I can suggest you read, there are courses you can go on, and there are people you can follow but all of this takes work and time that you probably feel is better served elsewhere because you are still on the runaway train. So, my suggestion is Ted Talks.
This virus has forced time on us, this might be a great opportunity to do many of those things, we work on the house; the garden; at work, but when do we work on ourselves?…
Perhaps if you find yourself scrolling through your phone, search instead for a Ted talk on a subject that interests you, unrelated to any of your current habits or expectations of yourself or others. It could be, stargazing because you loved it as a child; dog training even though you don’t have a dog; growing wine even though you live in a flat. What is important is that you train your brain to accept new ideas gradually. It then becomes stimulated by learning something new, and that changes your mood for the better. It also leads to ideas, because just like a computer your brain will seek out things that you are interested in.
To dance with the unknown is as thrilling as it is scary but I would highly recommend it. Whilst I have enjoyed the ride that has been my life, by not reflecting regularly I allowed that high speed world to consume me. Maybe, like me, you are taking the time to reflect? I recommend it, ten years is a long time with many successes that you’ve probably forgotten or overlooked. (go through your photos and diaries or social media for reminders)
Then Dream about the important stuff, that will fill your soul, inspire you and bring new joys and happiness.
Worrying about the things you can’t control just robs you of the present, and its true to say right now more than ever, the Present is a Gift…